Parenting Excerpts

She Births: A Modern Woman's Guidebook For An Ancient Rite of Passage

by Marcie Macari

Reprinted with permission from Marcie Macari.

Birth. In this day and age, it is often considered something to fear. At best, women are told to learn ways to circumvent the pain through unnatural breathing and visualization methods, and at worst through medical pain relief or a planned optional C-section. Those who choose the natural path are often viewed as martyrs or accused of being self-sacrificing. I have heard many stories of women coerced into opting for pain relief in the middle of active labor by well-meaning but misled medical staff. Or course, this leaves the mothers to deal with their feelings of failure and to find their way through the loss of their Birth hopes postpartum, and rarely with any guidance or support.

 I have always loved the traditional rites of passage of so many of the Earth’s people, admired the strength and courage of those who stand at the beginning of their passage into adulthood, marriage, or other life transition. While the actual ritual or requirement may seem unnecessarily harsh to me as an outsider, the choice they make to brave their fear and the pain, and the celebration and communion they look forward to once they have succeeded, has always inspired me.

 I have often wondered what that final moment is like just before they step onto the coals, start the race, or endure the branding. I have contemplated the intensity of that final anticipatory breath, and I’m sure the profundity is not merely physical. Many of these rites of passage have a deeply Spiritual element – a task given by their god(s), or the fulfillment of attaining the privileged title as “wise”.

 It is this admiration that led me to the comparison between a birthing woman’s journey and these rites of passage. In both situations, the journey begins with choosing the more difficult road. There are similar emotional and mental challenges and celebrations. There is loneliness, there is purposeful physical discomfort, and there are those on the outside who just do not understand.

 It is my hope that this book will help women to reconnect with their inner-power. Help them understand the importance of this experience, and take back their right to choose natural Birth, in spite of the conventional pain relief recommendations. It is my deepest wish that through reading this book, and doing the journaling exercises, women will come to see the importance of natural Birth, how it affects their own lives, and the significance it holds for the world.

 This book is intentionally one-sided in its approach. I know that there are times when medical intervention has saved lives. For that I am very grateful. However, I want this book to create conversation – to stir up indignation in the belly of its female readers. I want to counteract the agenda-driven, medical-based media, which always shows surgical procedures as safe alternatives, and never once mentions the emotional and Spiritual healing required by those who have walked that path by choice or coercion, and does not express what a woman is missing when she does not birth naturally. Women are being lied to by omission, and this needs to stop.

 I am not a doctor, a therapist or any other medically trained professional. I am, however, a well-informed woman who has birthed naturally 3 times, and who has helped other women through their own birth natural Birth passage. I believe that women are the experts about Birth since it is we who do the birthing, and it is on this empowerment belief I’ve written this book. You won’t find surgical jargon in this book. That’s the POINT!

 Whether you are a mom-to-be, a woman who has experienced natural Birth for yourself, or a woman who has been robbed of the chance to birth naturally or altogether, She Births  has powerful Truths you can apply to the way you see yourself in the world.

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 I’ve had the pleasure of giving birth three times, in three different countries, and in three very different situations, experiencing midwifery in its various forms ranging from highly medical (med-wifery) to women-centered spiritual midwifery. It was with my second midwife that I learned the word “Midwife” means “with woman”. This spoke to me profoundly, and I began to try to define what it means to be “with woman”.

 It was the Birth of my latest child, who, as I write this, is just a few months old that forever changed me and inspired me to share the Truth with as many women as I could reach. He was born here at home, into a blow-up pool filled with warm water in the basement of our first home. I was surrounded by those I love, in the environment of my choosing. This Birth was my favorite, and one of the gentlest births the midwives had ever seen. I was able to be present for every moment – experiencing the sensations of Birth calmly and in control, allowing my own inner power to be the strongest voice I listened to, and my Birth was perfect. Nobody interfered, and I was able to do what I was meant to do, unhindered, and un-manipulated. It was beautiful.

 It was this experience that inspired me to tell my story to others, sometimes being met with wide-eyed interest and probing questions, and at others by skeptical “she’s a kook” expressions. Others still would smile a knowing smile and open their hearts, telling me of their similar passages, and it was these moments of solidarity that led me to this project…

 The Truth about Birth is ethereal and mystical, and every woman who can get in touch with her Divine Feminine instinctively knows that there is more to Birth than bringing a baby into the world.

 You can see/purchase the book “She Births: A Modern Woman’s Guidebook For An Ancient Rite of Passage” here:

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